Managing conflict at work

Conflict in the workplace is often viewed in a negative light. While it can be difficult to navigate, it also presents an opportunity for growth, understanding and improved relationships. Learning how to manage conflict effectively is essential for maintaining a healthy work environment that prioritises wellbeing. According to the CIPD Good Work Index 2024, people who experience conflict in the workplace have lower job satisfaction and are more likely to experience poorer mental and physical health.

Understanding conflict in the workplace

Conflict at work can arise from various sources, such as different personalities, work styles, values or simple miscommunication. A well-balanced team is diverse in nature, with individuals bringing their unique perspectives and experiences. Understanding that conflict is a natural part of collaboration can help reframe our approach to it. Rather than viewing conflict purely as a problem, consider it an intrinsic element of team dynamics that, if managed effectively, can lead to innovative solutions and enhanced relationships.

The impact of unresolved conflict

Unresolved conflict can have detrimental effects on workplace wellbeing. It can lead to increased stress, decreased productivity and even high turnover rates. Employees may feel disengaged and demotivated, which ultimately harms the organisation's health. On the flip side, addressing conflict constructively can result in improved communication, stronger relationships and a more positive work atmosphere.

Strategies for managing workplace conflict

1. Encourage open communication

Encouraging open, honest communication within your team is crucial. This means creating a safe space where employees feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and concerns. Regular team meetings, one-on-one discussions and feedback sessions can all be effective channels for communication. Ensure everyone understands that their voice matters, promoting a culture of openness and respect.

2. Active listening

When conflict arises, it's essential to practise active listening. This means paying attention to the other person's perspective without interrupting or immediately formulating a response. Show empathy by acknowledging their feelings and validating their experiences. Paraphrasing their thoughts can also demonstrate your understanding, helping to defuse tension.

3. Identify the root cause

Often, conflict stems from deeper issues than what may initially surface. Take time to identify the root cause of the disagreement. Is it a personality clash, a difference in goals or perhaps a misunderstanding? Understanding the underlying issue is key to resolving the conflict. Encourage participants to articulate their needs and concerns clearly, creating a space for mutual understanding.

4. Focus on solutions, not blame

When addressing conflict, aim to shift the focus from blame to finding solutions. To cultivate a spirit of teamwork and compromise, invite all parties involved to collaborate on potential resolutions. Brainstorming sessions can be an effective way to generate ideas and demonstrate that everyone's input is valued. 

5. The power of mediation

Sometimes, conflicts can become too heated for the parties involved to resolve on their own. In such cases, it may be beneficial to involve a neutral third party to mediate the discussion. A mediator can facilitate the dialogue, ensuring that everyone has a chance to express themselves while helping to steer the conversation toward a constructive resolution.

6. Set clear expectations

To prevent conflicts from arising in the first place, clear expectations are important. This includes establishing roles, responsibilities and goals. When everyone understands their role within the team, there is less likelihood of misunderstandings that can lead to conflict. Regular check-ins can also help in clarifying expectations and adjusting roles as needed.

7. Promote team building

Creating strong, trusting relationships among employees can act as a buffer against conflict. Consider implementing team-building activities that build rapport and a sense of belonging. These activities can help individuals see each other as allies rather than adversaries, paving the way for more effective collaboration.

8. Encourage emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise and understand one’s own emotions and the emotions of others. Encouraging employees to develop their emotional intelligence can significantly improve conflict resolution. Training sessions on emotional awareness and regulation can empower staff to manage their emotions in challenging situations, leading to healthier interactions.

Why soft skills are important for workplace wellbeing

Often in busy work environments there is so much pressure placed on achieving goals and hitting targets that the wellbeing of employees gets forgotten. There could be many reasons why this occurs but ultimately, this kind of responsibility lies with the management and their ability to use soft skills to nurture, inspire, and motivate their workforce. In a study by Gallup, it was found that "about 50% of the 7,200 adults surveyed left a job to get away from their manager".

In order for a business to retain and maintain the wellbeing of staff, it’s vital for employees to feel a level of trust and respect towards their line manager. For many of us, we are much more likely to enjoy job satisfaction and go the extra mile when we are given support not only within our role but also for our mental wellbeing.

How to improve leadership soft skills?

Let’s not forget that managers are also human and might need assistance from time to time to improve their soft skills in order to ensure a happy and positive workplace. Being given help to better their emotional intelligence, communication skills, and interpersonal skills will stand them in good stead for being a respected leader that can maintain a healthy and inclusive workplace culture.

Get to know your team

Although it’s important to have a professional relationship with your employees, it’s equally as important to understand them on a personal level. Finding out what motivates a person, how they respond to stress, or understanding how they communicate with others can help you manage their workload and environment effectively.

Learn to listen properly

Especially when our jobs are busy and stressful, it’s easy to neglect the wellbeing of others, but by taking time out to listen to your staff’s needs or feelings, you can manage workloads much more effectively.

Give considered and empathic feedback

Not only can constructive feedback be beneficial to employees, but it can also help managers understand how they can improve workflow and productivity. It may be that a member of staff is struggling with one particular role, so rather than reprimanding them, ask them if there’s another area they feel they would excel in. Not only does this give them more job satisfaction, but it also gives them the confidence that you have considered their wellbeing.

Developing your own soft skills

Become more aware of an employee’s emotional needs by looking out for any subtle signs that may arise from personal issues, stress, or anxiety. Is someone quieter than usual, are they interacting less with others, do they look tired, are they more agitated than normal? These can all be signs that a member of your team is off-kilter and might need to air their thoughts to you in a private and confidential environment.

Managing a multi-generational work environment

The workplace environment has changed drastically in the past few decades, meaning that team leaders are now having to learn how to successfully manage multi-generational employees. People who would’ve once be long retired are working alongside teenage apprentices and young adults fresh from college. Throw into the mix individuals who change their career path in their late 20s and 30s and you could have an extremely diverse work environment. Learning to manage a multi-generational work environment is not only essential to ensure happy employees but is necessary to achieve peak productivity.

What problems are associated with a multi-generational workplace?

If you are aware of the phrase “OK boomer” you will have some insight into how different generations may regard one another. The term 'boomer' relates to people born in the two decades after World War II. Boomers are thought to be out of touch with today’s generation. Besides boomers, there are other generations that have been given names, all of whom you may find in the same workplace:

Traditionalists – born between 1922 and 1945
Boomers or baby boomers – born between 1946 and 1964
Generation X – born between 1965 and 1980
Generation Y or millennials– born between 1981 and 1997
Gen Z – born between 1998 and present day

It is understandable to think that a multi-generational workplace will face problems, after all, each generation will have experienced different technologies and ways of doing things in a work environment. Problems can arise from prejudices of each generation born from presuming they are too traditional or non-PC, or conversely, too modern or liberal. Other difficulties can arise from one generation not being experienced in using certain technologies, and other generations ignoring tried and tested ways of approaching specific elements of work. For example, it may be presumed that older generations may not be fully aware of the benefits of social media, while younger generations may be perceived as being too reliant on modern technology. Clashes such as these require competent management to avoid confusion and frustration between colleagues.

How do I manage multiple generations successfully?

You will be relieved to know that there are ways to create a cohesive workforce made up of many generations.

Don’t make presumptions

It is all too easy to presume that younger candidates will be more capable when it comes to modern technologies and online media. However, it should never be presumed that other generations are not as up to date with technological advances. Bear in mind that the older generations have also lived through changing technologies. In the same way, don’t believe that Gen Zs couldn’t possibly live without their mobile devices or that they are easily distracted by social media updates. Treat each employee as an individual and listen to their unique experiences to ascertain how they will complement your workplace.

Encourage inter-generational mentoring

Like any workplace, employees may have very different experiences and qualifications. Use this to your advantage by encouraging employees to share their skills with one another. For example, one generation may not realise the importance of social communication etiquette, and another could be lacking the real-life interpersonal skills still required in today’s work environments. By delivering this in the form of mutually beneficial mentorships you are ensuring that employees don’t feel patronised.

Ascertain the goals and ambitions of each employee

There are many benefits to having a multi-generational workforce, especially when you know what each employee wants from their work. Younger generations without commitments may be more willing to travel and be keen to be given opportunities to do so. Those with family commitments may not want to be away for long periods of time and their skills could be better used elsewhere. However, it is essential that you don’t just presume, and as a manager you need to ascertain what each employee wants.

Be flexible

Being aware of the many potential differences between generations in the workplace allows you to get the most out of your employees. By being flexible with your approach to each employee and acknowledging their strengths, weaknesses and individual needs, you can provide management that will benefit not only them, but your entire workforce.

Leaders need to recharge their batteries too

We get it. Everyone is working hard, business conditions are extremely tough at the moment – especially with the uncertainty surrounding the UK’s departure from the EU – and employers are expecting their teams to deliver more, with less.

As a leader, there can be an added pressure of being seen to be extra resilient and hard-working. Your team look to you to take the lead and you want to set a good example. It’s true that as a leader, you set the bar for your team. They embody and emulate the work values and ethic that you project. However, it’s also true that when you work too hard, neglecting your own self-care, this can negatively impact the team around you.

When a leader is fully engaged and emotionally / physically well, your team will flourish. Driving your people forward when your own battery is running low is nigh on impossible. Not only will your ability to make decisions confidently be impaired, the energy you project onto others is catching and will result in an apathetic work environment.

It’s not easy to see for yourself when you are functioning at less than your optimal levels, but there are a couple of red flags to watch out for.

Irritability

When we're running on empty, even the smallest of things can irritate us. Events that we'd happily navigate previously, really irk us. If you're finding it difficult to take everyday events in your stride, it’s time to take some time out!

Selfishness

Our natural instinct, when we're well rested and focussed, is to put the needs of our team before our own. A sure sign that you need to practise some self care is when you're more concerned with what’s going on in your own life, than the wellbeing of others.


Of course, identifying that you need to recharge is just the first step. We need to do something about it. This article from Psychology Today  gives some valuable insight into how well-known leaders mix business with leisure to give their best to their teams. And while most of us are unable to follow Bill Gate’s example of a regular ‘think week’ in a wood cabin, we can all find ways to regularly give our brain the break it needs. Here’s how:

Build some short bursts of reflection time into your diary – mark it as busy / do not disturb – and use this time to really think about something totally unrelated to work. Complete a crossword, do some colouring, read a chapter of a book. Switching your brain up from time to time actually helps to rewire your thinking and make you more focussed.

Living in a digital age is exhausting, we never switch off. Promise yourself – and your family – that you will set regular time aside every day when you will unplug completely. The freedom this gives your brain cannot be underestimated, as it allows you to be fully ‘present’ in other activities.

We talked about getting closer to nature in one of our previous posts -http://firstpsychology.blogspot.com/2018/06/the-benefits-of-getting-closer-to-nature.html- it’s a great way to recharge - spending even a small amount of time outside everyday can really help to clear the mind and re-energise the soul.

These are our ideas for recharging your batteries – what works for you? Share your ideas below…

How to stop absorbing the emotions of those around you

It’s one thing to act as an empath in the workplace - having an appreciation of how other people in your team feel is a rare gift that can help you motivate and get the best out of people - but when you work in a team environment it can be hard not to be impacted by the moods and emotions of your colleagues and team mates from time to time.

When the emotions are positive – happiness, excitement, pride – it’s easy to get carried along with the emotion and often this is a great motivator which drives us to be more productive. However, if your colleagues are in a negative or fragile emotional state, it can have a detrimental effect on your own work and the performance of the rest of the team.

This article from Psychcentral outlines six ways for you to ensure that you acknowledge, rather than absorb, the feelings and emotions of those around you. It includes recognising and labelling what you are feeling so that you can make rational rather than emotional decisions and consciously passing back the feelings to your colleague, leaving you emotionally free to focus on your own goals.

If you do find yourself getting wrapped up in the emotions of those around you, we want you to ask yourself the following questions:

Is this feeling mine?

Once you have acknowledged the emotion you are dealing with, you need to ask yourself, honestly, whether you have a reason to own it as your own. If the fear, anger, anxiety is yours, you can then get to the bottom of what is causing it – only when you have established why you are feeling that way can you take the steps necessary to get through it. Accept ownership, then deal with the cause.

Does distance help?

Often, absorbed feelings lessen once you have gained some physical distance from the suspected source. When you start to feel overcome with emotion, but are not sure why, move yourself into another office or take a short walk around the block. Does the feeling remain? If yes, you can accept the feeling as your own and deal with it. If distance brings you some relief, chances are the feeling belongs to someone else and it’s just rubbing off on you.

Am I still centred?

Stress and negative emotions can often be felt in your stomach, rather than your head. When you feel the stress and negativity starts to build, we want you to take a few moments to concentrate on your breathing. Exhale your stress and inhale only calm. This will quickly make you feel better and able to identify your true feelings.

Can I find a positive?

If you find yourself getting bogged down with a colleague’s emotional state, seek out for positive influence from other people around you. Call a friend or family member who is known for their positivity and use their emotions to help you find the positivity you need. Hope, faith and optimism are contagious – use it to help prevent absorption of the negative feelings of your team mates.


In a close knit team it can be hard not to take the knocks felt by those around us, but we hope that by acknowledging and recognising when this happens, you can easily get your emotions back on track and remain empathic towards your colleagues, but not be led by what they are feeling.

How to boost productivity within your team

Businesses deliver better results when people work together as a team. Anything that upsets motivation or productivity can have a massive impact on organisational performance and so, as managers, it’s important to make sure that each member of your team is positive and productive.

Often, the constant pressure to focus on results and the bottom line can mean that it’s easy to forget about the people behind delivering these results, so we’ve developed a few simple ways of keeping your team motivated so that they can give their best at work.

To do, or done?

As a manager chances are you have a ‘to do’ list as long as your arm. It’s easy to concentrate on what needs to be done, when in reality employees really need to focus on what they’ve done well, in order to keep on delivering. Giving – and receiving – recognition and praise for work already completed provides a great confidence boost which motivates us to go above and beyond what is expected of us. So, if you feel your team’s motivation is waning, spend some time to focus on their achievements, rather than the tasks that remain ahead.

Work matters

Most people like to feel as though they're working towards a greater good, it’s a great motivation boost to know that your actions are having a positive impact on society and this leads to greater productivity – you only have to look at big businesses like Unilever or P&G to see how they’re linking brands to a wider community benefit. If your business or organisation doesn’t have a community benefit that's easily identifiable, consider creating a volunteering or fundraising initiative for your team to get involved in and see how their positivity translates into greater productivity in their day to day work.

Flexibility pays

In today’s digital age it’s easier than ever to provide more flexibility to your team – and often the more flexible working environments are, the more productive the employees - as it enables everyone to have a better work/life balance. Advances in technology mean that employees can access the files and tools they need from anywhere, so if you're looking to boost productivity, look for ways to offer your team more flexibility in how they work. You can read our previous blog post on flexible working for ideas and inspiration: https://firstpsychologyassistance.blogspot.co.uk/2018/03/flexible-working-making-it-work.html


Spending some extra time looking for ways to better support your team, might mean that you need to establish some working practices that maximise your own productivity – besides, leading by example is often the most effective way of coaching others.

This blog post - https://firstpsychologyassistance.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/how-to-motivate-yourself-and-others.html - covers the basics of how to keep yourself motivated. Some simple tips that you can start straight away include:

• Set blocks of time aside to tackle basic admin tasks – or emails - rather than spreading them through the day/week.
• Set aside certain periods (a day,  an afternoon a week, etc) for meetings, leaving the rest of the week clear to get on with tasks.
• Give yourself ten minutes each morning to steam through small tasks that would otherwise sit on your to-do list for days or more.

Remember, positivity and productivity go hand in hand, so lead with the enthusiasm and energy that allows your team to shine.

Personal development tips for busy people

By now most people are back at work after the holidays and we all share high hopes for what lies ahead - we may even have set resolutions that will make us better people and help us live a happier, more fulfilling life. It’s also the time of year when we look at our career and identify goals that will enable us to grow. But how attainable are these goals and resolutions that we set? Is it possible to set realistic objectives – both personal and career based - that won’t get overlooked once we’re back in the thick of our busy, day-to-day routines.

We’ve found some self and personal development areas that can be built into our daily lives. Let’s make 2018 a year of personal growth and self-development – without it being a chore!

Get online

It used to be that if you wanted to learn a new skill you had to go to night school, or take time out of your day job to attend courses. Not so now. If there’s anything you want to know or learn, the internet is your friend and what’s better is that many are free or low cost. More than that, most online courses or webinars can be done at your leisure, when it suits you. Why not schedule an hour in your diary once a week to take you closer to achieving the goals you’ve set?

Explore mentoring

Becoming a mentor or working with a mentor are both great ways of developing your skills in a less-formal fashion than traditional training courses and leadership programmes. Sharing what we know with others is a great way of appreciating the skills and experience that we have and, conversely, working with a mentor is an effective way of enriching your own personal development while exploring new ways of thinking and working. And what’s more, it can all be done at a time and place that is convenient to you. You can read more about mentoring, in this blog post.

Venture into volunteering

There are so many charities out there looking for a wide range of skills and experience to help them deliver vital work with local communities. Volunteering is a great way of either sharing the skills you have within a different sector or learning something new. Either way, volunteering can help you fulfil your personal development goals for the year. Many charities have their own training courses too, some of which lead to recognised qualifications. They do often require a regular time commitment, though this could be as little as two hours a week - well worth scheduling into your calendar. Check too with your employer, as some allow you to complete volunteering assignments within work time as part of their corporate and social responsibility programmes.

Write your goals down

As with most activities and priorities, the way to bring your personal development goals to life, is to write them down. In fact, go one step further – write them down and then schedule time in your diary to work on them. Writing things down legitimises them, giving them time and reiterating their importance. It doesn’t have to eat into your day either. Read a text book during your commute to work, or during your lunch break; or listen to a webinar or tutorial before you go to bed. Make your time work for you. If it’s important to you, you'll find the time.


If you are still struggling to find the time to work on yourself this year, this article from the Guardian outlines some handy time management tips of busy people to give you some ideas.

How to give feedback people listen to

When we’re at school we accept that we'll be taught things, that we will learn new skills, ideas and concepts from others and that this information will enable us to grow as individuals. Once we join the workforce however, it becomes harder to accept such teachings, advice and guidance from others. As adults, we become naturally defensive and skeptical which makes it difficult for us to take a lot of the feedback we’re given constructively.

In many ways, feedback can be as tough to deliver, as it can to receive. However, if done in a clear and constructive manner – as outlined in this blog article– it’s a great way of helping people realise their true potential.

Two-way is the best way

Nobody likes to be spoken at, so if you really want people to take on board what you have to say you’ve got to at least try and involve them. If you frame the feedback more as a conversation, giving your colleague the opportunity to discuss, question and challenge what you are saying, it will make for a much more collaborative process and one from which you could both learn something. More importantly, it will create a platform from which you can work together to create a way forward.

Prepare to take action

Feedback is not a finite, one-off action, it’s a process. Once you've shared the feedback – and made your colleagues aware of any issues and problems you’ve highlighted – you can’t leave things there. The most important part of the feedback process is what happens afterwards: the steps that you take to support your colleague through any issues identified, the plans you create and the goals you set to improve performance going forward. Use two-way discussion to go over ideas and be open to the suggestions made by your colleagues, so that you can support them however you can.

Review your plans

Make sure that any action plans you create are timely and measureable. All too often, colleagues are given feedback and then left to navigate their progress by themselves. Commit to additional feedback sessions to discuss progression so far and next steps. The way you handle the feedback process will determine how your colleagues will give and receive feedback in the future, so it’s important to get it right.

And don’t forget our three golden rules for sharing feedback – they’re guaranteed to get your message heard!

Be specific

Now’s not the time for beating around the bush. When you give feedback make sure you talk about specific behaviour and specific examples that demonstrate the point you are making.

Be timely

Strike while the iron is hot is a saying that applies when sharing feedback. It’s got to be done while the issues are still front of mind. If you have feedback to give, then just get on and give it.

Be sensitive

Pick a suitable moment to share your feedback. You’ll know when colleagues are open to discussion and times when your feedback will not have the impact you are seeking.

Why introverts miss out on leadership roles

A recent study has shown that introverts often miss out on leadership roles they are more than capable of doing, simply because they overestimate how stressful these positions will be.

In the study nearly 200 undergraduate business students were asked to complete personality tests devised by NASA. Before starting, they were asked to rate whether they would find it fun and exciting, or scary and stressful. They also rated each other for signs of emergent leadership during the task, such as influencing group decisions and leading conversations. Introverts showed less emergent leadership than extraverts and expected to experience more negative emotions and feelings during the group task.

While that makes sense, it does suggest that there is a pool of talented leaders out there who will never realise their true potential, just because of how they perceive things to be. That’s a shame, given there are many reasons why introverts actually make excellent leaders who bring out the best in their teams.

Introverts think, then act

Introverts never speak without thinking things through first. They are great at reflecting on how what they say will impact on others and be perceived. They don’t speak unless they feel they can add value to the conversation and you can be sure that their responses will be measured and considered. Yes, their meetings may be quieter than those facilitated by extroverted leaders, but they are able to cut through organisational noise to distil the important data and information.

Introverts like to dig deep

There’s nothing superficial about introverted thinking. They like to investigate and research to a level of detail that extroverts wouldn’t deem necessary. They listen and they love to ask questions – probing questions that get to the crooks of the issue. As leaders this results in a greater understanding and appreciation of what’s going on in their departments and a deeper grasp of their team members and what they are capable of.

Introverts are calm

If you’re working in a busy or stressful job, you need someone who can bring a sense of calm to the operation and the higher up the chain of command that calm is, the easier it is for it to exude across the whole team. Introverts are great in times of crisis and they won’t make a mountain out of a molehill, that’s why they make such good mentors and coaches.

Introverts like to plan

You won’t catch an introvert out through a lack of planning. Being prepared and rehearsed is one of the reasons introverts make such good leaders. They plot out scenarios in their mind before they happen so are very seldom caught out, plus their tendency to air on the side of caution means they have realistic expectations of themselves and their team members.

Let’s not forget, some of the world’s most successful leaders are self-confessed introverts, like Bill Gates and Mahatma Ghandi. So be sure to share this blog with the talented introverts you know and encourage them to achieve their true leadership potential.

Mentoring - how to be a good one and how to choose one

Years ago ‘mentoring’ was as simple as helping a new colleague feel welcome or listening to your co-worker as they let off steam about a manager or an increasing workload. Today, mentoring is regarded as a valuable and measurable tool to assist in an employee’s professional development.

Done properly, mentors provide a sounding board at critical career points, supporting and guiding on a specific career path. They help provide us with a unique perspective on the challenges we face, due to their understanding of us as individuals and – usually – an appreciation of the business or sector we work in.

A recent survey by the Accountemps recruitment company found that 86% of executives saw having a mentor as an important tool for career development. That said, only a quarter of those surveyed actually had someone they could regularly turn to for advice and guidance. 

This could be for one of two reasons:

1. We don’t know how to find a good mentor, or
2. There aren’t many good mentors about

Finding a good mentor isn’t as easy as it sounds. There are a number of factors that you need to consider.

People need to be clear about what they actually need in a mentor

What skills are you looking to develop? What gaps in your knowledge and experience are you looking to fill? You need to be honest with yourself about what you need from a mentor in order to find one who can support you in the right way. As we develop and grow, so too will our mentoring requirements change. Some mentors will grow with us and sometimes we will need to draw on more than one mentor to help us develop and fulfil our true potential. Set yourself a twelve month plan about what you hope to gain out of a mentor/mentee relationship and be sure to review it – with your mentor – at regular intervals during the year as you would any other development intervention.

People should consider working styles when choosing a mentor

Choosing a mentor based on the person you want to be is dangerous – you shouldn’t be looking to fundamentally change the way you are, but more to learn certain skills, such as empathy, collaboration and reflection, that will help you do your job better. By choosing a mentor with a complimentary work style you will avoid personality clashes and ensure that you get the most out of their support and guidance.

People should look for mentors who can listen as much as they talk

A successful mentoring relationship is a 360 one. Your mentor needn’t have been down the same career path that you have, nor should they just feed you the answers to the challenges you face. They are there to act as a sounding board and provide valuable insight that helps you reach your own conclusions. This can only be done if the communication is open, genuine and two-way.

So what does it take to be a great mentor?

Mentoring is a different relationship than the traditional manager / worker one and to become a great mentor you have to see the mentee as an individual, rather than a subordinate. You have to be prepared to look beneath the mentee’s work performance and develop an appreciation of their personal life to truly understand what drives the business decisions they make and shapes the way they behave at work.

Forbes.com describes a great mentor as someone who is ‘honest and unafraid to tell you hard truths about yourself and your work’. They ‘push you to take risks and aim higher’.

More often than not, the best quality that a mentor can have is the ability to inspire. To make people aspire to be better people and to give them the confidence to believe they can achieve what they set out to do.

Great mentors get as much value out of the relationship as mentees do. Some of this value is obvious: improved relationship management skills, deeper insight into how people think and operate, as well as experience in challenging, exploring and testing alternative theories and perspectives, which they can then replicate in their own work.

If you’re looking for more information on how to get the best out of people, this TEDTalk playlist is worth a look.

The differences between male and female leaders

A survey of American workers suggested that more than a third of all workers would prefer a male boss, over a female. Factors, such as the gender of their current manager and the age of those surveyed, play a part in the decision, but what are the differences between male and female leaders? Is there any foundation in our preference?

Another American study found that women tended to be rated higher in achieving results, getting work done, being transparent and clear, and building rapport with others. Men scored higher in strategic planning ability, persuasion, delegation, and being more reserved in expression.

The study highlights the areas in which male and female leaderships styles differ, which would explain why people may be drawn towards stating a preference. It also suggests that the natural leadership styles of men and women are complementary. It is by creating a balance of both types of leadership, through Board-level diversity, that organisations can bring about peak performance.

Culture matters

Unsurprisingly, these differing leadership styles are more suited to the different cultures. In traditionally ‘male’ environments, such as the armed forces, male leaders – or at least their leadership style – might be favoured. While environments which employ larger numbers of women, such as education and retail, appear to favour female managers/styles.

Gender stereotypes

These gender-biased leadership skills are historical and often reinforced by stereotypes. As this article shows even after all these years, humans are surprisingly good at assessing a person’s physical formidability in terms of strength and fighting skills – tending to prefer dominant leaders when threat is greater. If women are perceived as too assertive or direct, they are often criticised; not assertive enough, they are labeled as weak leaders. The same goes that male leaders can be regarded as being weak, once they have show their nurturing and empathic sides.

Interestingly, most of the skills identified as being necessary for being a great leader – honesty, delegation, communication, confidence and positivity – are common to both male and female leaders.

Breaking free from being a stereotypical leader

We can all do our bit to break away from being the stereotypical leader we are expected to be:

• By being conscious of your own biases about gender roles, we can first change our own thinking and behaviour, as well as that of our team members.
• By having an appreciation of our own leadership style. This means we can purposefully learn to adapt it to fit different situations. Sometimes leaders need to be direct and firm. At other times, empathy and compassion are most needed.

Being an effective leader is about what you do, rather than what you know. Most leadership skills are learned from others, so it stands to reason that the more women leaders we have, the more they will share their skills with their teams.

Organisations are only ever successful thanks to the sum of all parts, rather than the achievements of individuals. All businesses flourish thanks to their diverse, gender balanced workforces, despite what leadership style we prefer – or display.

The psychology of meetings – are you getting the most out of yours?

According to psychology today, up to three-quarters or more of a senior manager’s day may be taken up with meetings. There’s no denying that meetings are an integral part of many workplaces, the question is how we approach these meetings and make them a positive, productive element of our working day – rather than a waste of time and effort?

The above link gives some useful insight into the psychology of meetings and we’ve developed some simple tips to make sure you give your best in meetings to get the most out of them.

Mind over matter

Mindfulness is about training the mind to think about things differently. We are all creatures of habit and our working day is defined by a range of routines, tasks and practices. It doesn’t take much for these routines to change and this can leave us feeling unbalanced. If you feel the meetings you are asked to attend are mainly unproductive, take the initiative to ensure you’re at your best and present. Some simple mindfulness tips for meetings include writing with your non-dominant hand, sitting in a different seat than usual, or offering to chair the meeting / take the minutes, rather than be a passive participant.

Prepare to plan

Chairing or attending meetings on the hoof is a sure fire way to waste your time – and everyone else’s! If you know you have a meeting coming up, make it your business to plan well ahead and have a clear objective – what do you want to get out of the meeting? When are your expectations of others? If you have called the meeting, take the time to also plan what you want others to get out of it and the role you want them to play. How will you encourage collaboration and interaction? How will you work with others to set measureable goals? What processes can you put in place to make sure all actions are followed up on?

Essential etiquette

Do you know what a good meeting looks like? Before you begin, make sure you have an idea of how you want things to go from a logistics perspective. Try some visualisation techniques – imagine that the meeting goes well – how do people look around the table? How do you feel? There’s a good round-up in this helpful Business Insider article. It also helps to go through the ground rules of your meeting with participants before you begin, so people know exactly what is expected of them.

For more information about how to get the most out of your meetings, this article in Psychology Today looks at a special tool designed to improve the quality of meetings and increasing active participation. They identified two interesting patterns evident in the most productive meetings:

1. People take turns in an equal way and everyone is encouraged to give their ideas.
2. Periods of chattiness and side conversations serve to validate the ideas and build consensus. 

So, there you have it. With a bit of time and planning, you can make all your meetings matter.

Building self esteem – in yourself and your work colleagues

Maybe following the influx of cards and chocolates earlier this week your self-esteem has already soared to a record high, but if that’s not the case, now is the time to do something about it!

Self-esteem is about feeling confident in yourself and your own abilities. In the workplace it’s easy to sometimes feel unappreciated or daunted by the tasks you need to fulfil. But it needn’t be that way.

Mind, the mental health charity, has compiled a comprehensive list of things we can do to boost our self-esteem – some of the actions we need to do for ourselves but several of them translate perfectly into the workplace.

Challenges

Successfully overcoming challenges is a great way to boost your self-esteem, so don’t be afraid to set yourself stretching tasks – you can do it! And when you, do you’ll feel amazing. If you're lacking in the confidence to achieve things by yourself, why not set a challenge that involves you and your work colleagues? Knowing that you've done something well together is a great way to build confidence in your own ability, and that of your work colleagues. Team building exercises, brainstorms and away days are all great ways to improve self-esteem and build better teams.

Assertiveness

Self-esteem is all about confidence. Confidence is built when we have the courage to assert ourselves. The work environment is a great place for feeling assertive. It is familiar to us, the people we work with know us and what we are capable of, plus we're surrounded by people who, mostly, want the same the things we do. Assertiveness is not about being aggressive or bossy, it’s the happy medium between being belligerent and passive. It’s about being clear about what you want and what you don’t want. In the workplace, assertiveness is about acknowledging the contributions that your team members make – while ensuring that your suggestions are equally recognised.

Read First Psychology Assistance's resource sheet on Assertiveness Training >

Read First Psychology's advice page on Assertiveness >

Support

Self-esteem is given a boost when we feel we have a strong support network – this gives us the courage to try, as we know someone has our back if we don’t quite make it. If your current workplace doesn’t have the support network you need, why not create one? Supportive work environments encourage people to take ownership and responsibility, safe in the knowledge that any mistakes made are learning experiences, rather than a reflection of their abilities.

Negativity

No-one likes negativity, but when your self-esteem is already low, it's easy to find the negatives when they’re not even there! However, change has to start within yourself. Negativity breeds negativity so that first step to a more positive work environment – and one in which your self-esteem can soar – is by being positive. Take time out of your working day to find – and note down – the positive things that have happened. Encourage your colleagues to do the same and aim to create a positive work environment where people are encouraged to shine. Then watch what it does to your team's self-esteem.

Building self-esteem takes time, but by making the smallest changes today you can make big strides to developing a more confident, more authentic you. And that will feel great. What’s more is that confidence is catching. Start with yourself and see how it rubs off on your colleagues.

Visit Mind's website for more tips on building self-esteem >

Postive Psychology that works in the workplace

According to the British Psychological Society, psychology remains one of the most popular subjects to study. There’s no denying that the study of psychology is immensely rewarding and we would – obviously – advocate psychology as a career option for those interested in the study of the human psyche and what makes us all tick.

However, don’t despair if a career in psychology is out of reach for you. The chances are you are using psychology in your job today – though you’re not consciously aware of it. If you’re not, we’ve developed some pointers to help you incorporate positive psychology into your workplace to build better relationships, increase motivation and drive performance.

Look at your leadership style

No-one sets out to be a poor leader and often it’s a role that’s thrust upon people when they’re deemed to be ready, rather than something people train for. There are many different leadership styles, but the most successful leaders share the same qualities in the way they interact with their colleagues.

Try to practise some of the following and assess the impact it has on your own performance and that of your team:

• Offer clear guidance, but allow group members to voice opinions 
• Talk about possible solutions to problems with members of the group 
• Focus on stimulating ideas and be willing to reward creativity 

Although some time ago now, a study of Fortune 1000 companies by Collins in 2001 found two further factors that lifted leaders from ‘good to great’:

• Modesty: the most effective leaders were incredibly modest and humble.
• Persistence: the leaders who transformed their organisations never stopped pushing towards their goals.

Promote a happy workplace

The driving force behind workplace positive psychology is the notion that happier employees are more productive. So, how do you make your employees happy? Our previous post focussed on stress-busting in the workplace and the same techniques used to ease stress can also help to create a calm and happy atmosphere at work. We’re not talking about big changes here, sometimes a series of small initiatives aimed at helping colleagues feel more satisfied and happier in their work can often pay dividends. So instead of a staff-retreat and jolly, think more along the lines of an open door policy, increasing the frequency of 1-2-1s and introducing a staff suggestion scheme.

Be thankful

Employees are motivated by many different things, but we all appreciate being appreciated.  In much the same way that we are taught to practise positive reinforcement at home with the kids, the same could also be said of how we treat our employees. So focus on the positives in your workplace, and encourage others to do the same. We’re not talking about grand gestures of thanks, a subtle word of gratitude on the quiet will have much the same effect. Why not set yourself a target of emailing one colleague today outlining an aspect of their work that you’re grateful for?

Don’t manage, mentor

Establishing mentoring relationships within your team is one of the best ways to foster worker / employer camaraderie. The manager / employee relationship is one of superiority, the role of mentor is more about enablement, encouragement and nurturing. The mentor / employee relationship is one where honest feedback is welcomed, and a place where employees can get the psychological and social support they need to excel in their role.