How practising empathy can create a better work environment

No matter what kind of industry you work in, the chances are there will be times when work colleagues clash, emotions run high and stress levels go through the roof. Spending so much of our time (whether in person or online) with work colleagues is sure to put a strain on our relationships from time to time.

So, how can we improve our working relationships and what can we do to create a more positive work environment? In Denmark, empathy classes are a part of the curriculum, teaching children from the ages of 6 to 16 how to empathise with others and help to solve each other’s problems collaboratively. Although this method might not necessarily work in an adult workplace, by practising empathy in other ways, we can create a better environment.

The three types of empathy

Psychologist Daniel Goleman believes there are three types of empathy: compassionate, cognitive and emotional. 

1. Cognitive Empathy – Being aware of how someone is feeling or what they're thinking by understanding what other people are experiencing emotionally or mentally on an intellectual level. For example, you recognise when someone is feeling sad even though you might not actually feel their sadness.
2. Emotional Empathy – Physically feeling someone else’s emotions. Perhaps a loved one is going through a lot of pain which creates an emotional response from you such as crying. 
3. Compassionate Empathy – As well as understanding someone’s feelings on an intellectual level and becoming emotionally involved, compassionate empathy means that you want to help the person.

By showing all three types of empathy with the people we work with, we are able to create a sense of trust between one another and connect on a deeper level. In a work environment, you might find that different situations require a different type of empathy, so it’s important to recognise when to understand, when to feel, and when to help.

The American website Businessolver delivered a Workplace Monitor Report in 2017 which detailed how empathy in the workplace impacts on the productivity of employers.

Incorporating empathy into the workplace

There are many ways you can incorporate empathy into the workplace:

• Undertake surveys and questionnaires so you can understand employees better.
• Listen more to colleagues and ask more questions.
• Shadow a colleague in another role so you can observe their working day.
• Try to establish facts before making assumptions about a situation.
• Organise social activities once a month to allow workers to get to know each other on a more personal level.
• Encourage group lunches to promote inclusion.

In 2018, HMRC undertook an empathy experiment to discover how they could improve relationships at work, the results were very interesting.

Working in an environment where there’s little or no compassion between employees and employers can heavily impact on a person’s mental health. Making a few relatively small changes that encourage staff to practise empathy can make a huge difference to the work environment and people’s wellbeing.

How to give feedback people listen to

When we’re at school we accept that we'll be taught things, that we will learn new skills, ideas and concepts from others and that this information will enable us to grow as individuals. Once we join the workforce however, it becomes harder to accept such teachings, advice and guidance from others. As adults, we become naturally defensive and skeptical which makes it difficult for us to take a lot of the feedback we’re given constructively.

In many ways, feedback can be as tough to deliver, as it can to receive. However, if done in a clear and constructive manner – as outlined in this blog article– it’s a great way of helping people realise their true potential.

Two-way is the best way

Nobody likes to be spoken at, so if you really want people to take on board what you have to say you’ve got to at least try and involve them. If you frame the feedback more as a conversation, giving your colleague the opportunity to discuss, question and challenge what you are saying, it will make for a much more collaborative process and one from which you could both learn something. More importantly, it will create a platform from which you can work together to create a way forward.

Prepare to take action

Feedback is not a finite, one-off action, it’s a process. Once you've shared the feedback – and made your colleagues aware of any issues and problems you’ve highlighted – you can’t leave things there. The most important part of the feedback process is what happens afterwards: the steps that you take to support your colleague through any issues identified, the plans you create and the goals you set to improve performance going forward. Use two-way discussion to go over ideas and be open to the suggestions made by your colleagues, so that you can support them however you can.

Review your plans

Make sure that any action plans you create are timely and measureable. All too often, colleagues are given feedback and then left to navigate their progress by themselves. Commit to additional feedback sessions to discuss progression so far and next steps. The way you handle the feedback process will determine how your colleagues will give and receive feedback in the future, so it’s important to get it right.

And don’t forget our three golden rules for sharing feedback – they’re guaranteed to get your message heard!

Be specific

Now’s not the time for beating around the bush. When you give feedback make sure you talk about specific behaviour and specific examples that demonstrate the point you are making.

Be timely

Strike while the iron is hot is a saying that applies when sharing feedback. It’s got to be done while the issues are still front of mind. If you have feedback to give, then just get on and give it.

Be sensitive

Pick a suitable moment to share your feedback. You’ll know when colleagues are open to discussion and times when your feedback will not have the impact you are seeking.

Avoiding a stressful September

Have you noticed how less stressed everyone is during the summer? Whether it’s the fine weather or the promise of a break away in the sun, somehow life seems easier during the summer months. Come September, however, and we soon see the stress start to escalate again…

Master our two simple exercises and help make your September as stress-free as possible.

Focus for fifteen minutes

It’s easy to get distracted in today’s busy, digital workplace. We’ve often got our fingers in many pies and we’re multitasking more than ever before. We challenge you to take a step back and focus for fifteen minutes each day. Think about what you want to actually achieve, rather than busying yourself with lots of things concurrently. Concentrate on the quality of your outputs, rather than the quantity of tasks you’re engaged with at any one time.

Yes, the rest of your day can be spent juggling, but we reckon after just a quarter of an hour spent on executing one single task on your to-do list, you will feel more positive and productive than you will the rest of the day.

This is what we want you to do during the fifteen minutes:

Remove yourself away from all distractions, switch off all competing technology and just concern yourself with the task in hand. If you start to daydream, click your fingers as a cue to bring your focus back to the task you’re doing. When your fifteen minutes is done, review your work.

Expect to feel a sense of pride from a job well done that will reduce any anxiety and stress. Realising what you can achieve in just fifteen minutes will also enable you to review your own workload – and that of your team – with a renewed clarity and focus going forward.

Connect with your colleagues

We guarantee that if you’re feeling the September stress, your work colleagues will be too. We want you to spend five to ten minutes each day connecting with someone you work with. You can use the five minutes to discuss a work-related topic or to find out more about them as individuals outside of work. What you discuss is not important, it’s the time spent together that will build the bonds you need to create a stress-free working environment going forward.

By taking the time to get to know the people we work with, we can gain a deeper appreciation of them as individuals, which leads to improved working relationships. The better we know people, the easier it is to communicate with them during times of stress and the more manageable our work issues will become as a result.

Taking time to connect with others may seem like a frivolous waste of time, but believe us, it’s five minutes well-spent. Stronger work relationships help us make more informed and grounded business decisions.

So, with September just days away – set yourself a challenge: to make it as stress free as possible.

The differences between male and female leaders

A survey of American workers suggested that more than a third of all workers would prefer a male boss, over a female. Factors, such as the gender of their current manager and the age of those surveyed, play a part in the decision, but what are the differences between male and female leaders? Is there any foundation in our preference?

Another American study found that women tended to be rated higher in achieving results, getting work done, being transparent and clear, and building rapport with others. Men scored higher in strategic planning ability, persuasion, delegation, and being more reserved in expression.

The study highlights the areas in which male and female leaderships styles differ, which would explain why people may be drawn towards stating a preference. It also suggests that the natural leadership styles of men and women are complementary. It is by creating a balance of both types of leadership, through Board-level diversity, that organisations can bring about peak performance.

Culture matters

Unsurprisingly, these differing leadership styles are more suited to the different cultures. In traditionally ‘male’ environments, such as the armed forces, male leaders – or at least their leadership style – might be favoured. While environments which employ larger numbers of women, such as education and retail, appear to favour female managers/styles.

Gender stereotypes

These gender-biased leadership skills are historical and often reinforced by stereotypes. As this article shows even after all these years, humans are surprisingly good at assessing a person’s physical formidability in terms of strength and fighting skills – tending to prefer dominant leaders when threat is greater. If women are perceived as too assertive or direct, they are often criticised; not assertive enough, they are labeled as weak leaders. The same goes that male leaders can be regarded as being weak, once they have show their nurturing and empathic sides.

Interestingly, most of the skills identified as being necessary for being a great leader – honesty, delegation, communication, confidence and positivity – are common to both male and female leaders.

Breaking free from being a stereotypical leader

We can all do our bit to break away from being the stereotypical leader we are expected to be:

• By being conscious of your own biases about gender roles, we can first change our own thinking and behaviour, as well as that of our team members.
• By having an appreciation of our own leadership style. This means we can purposefully learn to adapt it to fit different situations. Sometimes leaders need to be direct and firm. At other times, empathy and compassion are most needed.

Being an effective leader is about what you do, rather than what you know. Most leadership skills are learned from others, so it stands to reason that the more women leaders we have, the more they will share their skills with their teams.

Organisations are only ever successful thanks to the sum of all parts, rather than the achievements of individuals. All businesses flourish thanks to their diverse, gender balanced workforces, despite what leadership style we prefer – or display.

Networking matters – how to leave a good impression

We often hear the saying that you only get one chance to make a first impression. While this is true, it does imply that once we’ve made an initial connection with someone, we’re home and dry. Yes, the foundations of good business relationships can be laid on first meeting, however keeping these connections alive through networking is an ongoing process – rather than a one-off event.

As with all relationships, business associations need to be nurtured and fed regularly if they are to flourish. The alternative is that we only connect with people when we need them for something and our work colleagues will soon get wise to this!

That aside, if we view networking as simply something we do when have a specific outcome in mind, it can become a more daunting task. Much better to embrace networking as part of our working life than think of it as a means to an end.

It’s good practice to build networking activities into your weekly work schedule, when you’re not looking to gain anything – this way you can focus on what you can do for others, rather than on what you expect from them.

We’ve developed some tips for building authentic networking connections that always leave a good impression

It’s not all about you

Make sure the focus is on others, not yourself. When building new relationships it’s easy to slip back into our comfort zone and talk about things we know most about – in many cases, that means talking about ourselves! The best way to excel at networking is to turn the tables and make sure that we always keeps others at the core of the conversation. By all means, share your views when asked, but make a real effort to include others in discussion through asking questions and bringing people in to give their perspectives too.

Listen more than you talk

We are given two ears and one mouth for a reason, and the rule of thumb when networking is to listen for twice as long as you spend talking. Relationships are about give and take, so make sure you give others the time and space to express themselves before sharing what’s on your mind. Active listening skills, such as keeping eye contact with others, and interjecting with questions or verbal cues – such as ‘mmm’ or a nod of the head, show that you are paying attention.

Stay in the room

Value the time that you spend networking with others. Be present in the conversations, turn your phone to silent and don’t look around the room, or down at your watch, unless absolutely necessary. People will very quickly pick up on your body language and your non-verbal cues, as much as they will the words that come out of your mouth.

Be a name dropper

When talking to new people make an extra special effort to use their name, to show that you’re paying attention and are making a personal connection with them. This serves two purposes: people respond better to those who address them by name, they’re more likely to remember you and it’ll make them feel good; it also means you're more likely to remember their name again in the future. There’s nothing worse than meeting up with a new contact, only to struggle with their name. If you find this a problem, this article may help.

If you’re interested in learning more about how to get the most out of your networking experiences, why not read this blog from the guardian newspaper?  It describes a three-pronged approach to networking - the ARE strategy. It stands for anchor (finding common ground), reveal (share interesting information about yourselves with others) and encourage (getting others to join in the conversation).

Remember, mutually beneficial business relationships are not built overnight. We need to put the same time and energy into nurturing our connections at work as we do those in our home-life. Put other people first and your networking efforts will soon pay dividends.

Postive Psychology that works in the workplace

According to the British Psychological Society, psychology remains one of the most popular subjects to study. There’s no denying that the study of psychology is immensely rewarding and we would – obviously – advocate psychology as a career option for those interested in the study of the human psyche and what makes us all tick.

However, don’t despair if a career in psychology is out of reach for you. The chances are you are using psychology in your job today – though you’re not consciously aware of it. If you’re not, we’ve developed some pointers to help you incorporate positive psychology into your workplace to build better relationships, increase motivation and drive performance.

Look at your leadership style

No-one sets out to be a poor leader and often it’s a role that’s thrust upon people when they’re deemed to be ready, rather than something people train for. There are many different leadership styles, but the most successful leaders share the same qualities in the way they interact with their colleagues.

Try to practise some of the following and assess the impact it has on your own performance and that of your team:

• Offer clear guidance, but allow group members to voice opinions 
• Talk about possible solutions to problems with members of the group 
• Focus on stimulating ideas and be willing to reward creativity 

Although some time ago now, a study of Fortune 1000 companies by Collins in 2001 found two further factors that lifted leaders from ‘good to great’:

• Modesty: the most effective leaders were incredibly modest and humble.
• Persistence: the leaders who transformed their organisations never stopped pushing towards their goals.

Promote a happy workplace

The driving force behind workplace positive psychology is the notion that happier employees are more productive. So, how do you make your employees happy? Our previous post focussed on stress-busting in the workplace and the same techniques used to ease stress can also help to create a calm and happy atmosphere at work. We’re not talking about big changes here, sometimes a series of small initiatives aimed at helping colleagues feel more satisfied and happier in their work can often pay dividends. So instead of a staff-retreat and jolly, think more along the lines of an open door policy, increasing the frequency of 1-2-1s and introducing a staff suggestion scheme.

Be thankful

Employees are motivated by many different things, but we all appreciate being appreciated.  In much the same way that we are taught to practise positive reinforcement at home with the kids, the same could also be said of how we treat our employees. So focus on the positives in your workplace, and encourage others to do the same. We’re not talking about grand gestures of thanks, a subtle word of gratitude on the quiet will have much the same effect. Why not set yourself a target of emailing one colleague today outlining an aspect of their work that you’re grateful for?

Don’t manage, mentor

Establishing mentoring relationships within your team is one of the best ways to foster worker / employer camaraderie. The manager / employee relationship is one of superiority, the role of mentor is more about enablement, encouragement and nurturing. The mentor / employee relationship is one where honest feedback is welcomed, and a place where employees can get the psychological and social support they need to excel in their role.

Keeping calm when all around you are losing their heads: a manager’s guide

There’s a common perception that we’re all working longer and harder than ever before. A close eye on overheads and an increasingly competitive marketplace means less people are often doing more than they’re used to and this can only lead to one thing: a stressed-out, unfulfilled team.

As managers we have a role to play in ensuring the continued productivity and resilience of our team. Learning some simple stress-busting techniques to keep your team productive during busy, stressful times is time and effort well spent – for yourself and your organisation.

For some, relaxation techniques are seen as a luxury that many managers can’t afford, however this viewpoint is slowly changing with recent studies indicating that managers trained in mindfulness have been shown to make more rational decisions, which rubs off on their team. The skill of being able to detach from your feelings during periods of stress, means business decisions are more focussed and considered, based on evidence rather than emotions – and that can only be good for business.

It follows that those managers who plan a small amount of time into their diary each day to refocus and retain a calm centre, will provide more measured management to their teams which will, in turn, drive better performance and deliver improved results for their organisation.

There are a number of signs evident in the workplace that managers can look out for, as an early indication that they may be bearing more than their fair burden of stress:

• Forgetting someone’s name as soon as you hear it
• Listening to colleagues while doing something else at the same time
• Eating without being aware of eating
• Reacting emotionally to work scenarios
• Daydreaming when going about your daily tasks

We’ve compiled three simple exercises that managers can build into their working day to help keep calm at work, enabling them to better support and develop their teams.

With five minutes to spare: Become aware of your breathing

The purpose of this step is to really think about the act of breathing – you don’t have to breathe in a certain way, for a certain length of time, just think about what you are doing. Find a quiet space – a closed office or small meeting room is ideal – sit down and really focus on what you are doing. Concentrate on those parts of your body you use when you are taking a breath in; savour the moment before exhaling and relish in the calm that flows across your body as you breathe out. The objective is not to let the mind wander or enter a trance-like state – it is about taking notice of our body and what it does to stay alive. If other thoughts start to enter your head, acknowledge them, then click your fingers as a cue to bring your focus back to the physical act of breathing.

Ten minutes – concentrate on your colleagues

This is an exercise in observation. By taking in the actions and behaviours of those around us, we gain a deeper appreciation of them as individuals, which leads to improved working relationships. This helps managers make more grounded choices when communicating with others during times of stress. People watching is a popular pastime, usually undertaken for pleasure, but its value as a mindfulness exercise when done in relation to the workplace in underrated. The objective here is not to spy or pry, it is about observing what makes your most important asset – that is, your team, tick and using that knowledge to inform your future managerial decision making. Ask yourself questions as you observe: Why are they here? Are they happy? Nervous? Irritable? Why? What does the way they hold themselves say about them? Does the way they interact with colleagues match up with their body language? To spend just ten minutes observing those around you and learning from what you see, will result in much calmer team dynamics.

Fifteen minutes – take in the task

Multi-tasking is a skill in itself, but do you ever wonder about the quality of your outputs? There is nothing more productive and rewarding than being fully present and totally focused on one piece of work at a time. Mobile phones, emails, social media, and intranets are all competing for attention while we complete work tasks to the best of our ability. This exercise takes about fifteen minutes. Pick a task, any task that sits on your to-do list. Remove yourself away from all distractions, switch off all competing technology and just concern yourself with the task in hand. If you start to daydream, click your fingers as a cue to bring your focus back to the task you’re doing. When your fifteen minutes is done, review your work. The knowledge that the task has had your undivided attention brings with it a sense of pride, which in turn reduces anxiety and stress. You’ll find that after one task well done, you’ll be able to review your own workload – and that of your team – with a renewed clarity and focus.