Stop defining success and start living

Setting goals can be a great motivator and can ignite a passion within us but when it starts affecting our mental health negatively, it’s time for a rethink. What’s important to you? What will this imagined success bring you that something else can’t? Do you strive for more money and material items to bring you status or admiration?

Some people measure success by wealth and the size of their home, while for others, a loving relationship, physical health or having children are more important. An article that featured in the Harvard Business Review, showed that success can be measured subjectively and objectively. While one might be seen from a status perspective, the other comes from an emotional outlook.

Often we set our goals based on what others expect of us or how we want to appear to everyone else. But by continually denying ourselves the things that bring us true happiness, we could start to experience negative emotions. Perhaps you spend all your time focused on work because you only see the end goal and forget that the journey to success should be equally as rewarding. If you neglect your wellbeing for too long, it can cause stress and poor quality of sleep which can lead to burnout.

All the time you spend striving to be successful, means that you’re missing out on other things that make you truly happy. Perhaps you love to go out with your friends or take weekend breaks but they’re being pushed to one side in order for you to continue on the road to success. If you keep neglecting the small pleasures that bring you joy, you’ll find yourself feeling anxious, stressed and maybe even depressed.

Ways to put yourself first

• When we’re so focused on a goal, we often lose sight of who we are so it’s important to remind yourself of your unique qualities. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself that aren’t related to an achievement of some kind.
• Often we define success by what other people deem important but this can sometimes set us on the wrong path and blur our own personal definition of success. Write down what you believe to be successful without being influenced by anyone else. You might find that your ideas are very different to what you first thought.
• By regularly practising self-love you’ll remind yourself of all your positive qualities. Positive affirmations are a great way to do this, and they can also help you appreciate all the great aspects of your life.
• Avoid spending too much time with people who impose high expectations on you. It’s easy to be drawn into other people’s ways of thinking but if it isn’t making you happy, then you perhaps need to let go. 

Although striving for success can give us purpose, if the journey is not fulfilling your needs, you need to start doing the things that make YOU happy. Make time for all the things that bring you joy whether that’s spending more time outdoors, doing something creative or enjoying a hobby.

It’s so important to put your mental wellbeing first so if you find yourself becoming out of sorts and unhappy, you might be forcing yourself onto a path that isn’t meant for you. By focusing on something that combines your true passion and strengths, the journey to YOUR success will become much more meaningful and rewarding.