Counselling skills for the workplace, how to listen so people will talk

We spend a large proportion of our lives at work so it’s hardly surprising that from time to time work issues and personal problems can affect our behaviour and performance in the workplace. Being able to talk to a colleague at times like this could prevent our problems escalating, which can only be a good thing.

Counselling is a much better approach to dealing with people's problems than telling people what to do. It’s based on the helping-people-to-help-themselves theory, which is extremely useful in the workplace.

The good news is that developing a few of the skills used by counsellors can help you work alongside and understand other people more effectively, particularly if you are in a management role and often speak to people about work-related problems, such as performance issues, personal relationships and career development.

Through open discussion and active listening you can help your colleagues identify and take ownership of existing work issues. You can help them work out their own solutions.

Key points to remember when talking to colleagues in the workplace:

• Ask what has happened, not why it has.
• Some parts of the workplace conversations can be kept confidential, others can’t. Makes sure you’re honest with your colleagues about the information you’ll have to share with others.
• Be prepared to constructively challenge who you’re speaking to, point out the inconsistencies and challenge people to acknowledge them.
• Understand where the line is drawn between talking to a colleagues in the workplace and the need to find professional help and support.

The main counselling skills used in the workplace are effective questioning and active listening

There’s a saying that goes: we have one mouth and two ears for a reason. That means be prepared to listen to what someone is saying for at least double the time it takes you to ask the questions!

The ability to ask questions that people feel comfortable answering (and then being fully prepared to listen to and digest their responses) is paramount to providing a supporting and productive work environment.

Questioning

Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Listening to a colleague’s problems and using positive words or sounds, like yes and mmm is a recognised technique in counselling situations, letting the person know you’re listening to them and encouraging them to carry on talking. Repeating words back to the speaker and mirroring their body language is another way of helping someone feel at ease and more comfortable around you. Remember, what you do is as important as what you say, so look at the person you are speaking to, try not to yawn or look at your watch, and put aside distracting thoughts.

Listening

Let the other person know you are listening by nodding occasionally, smiling and using other facial expressions. Look at their body language too, mirror it where possible to portray empathy, make sure your posture is open and inviting. Be prepared to reflect back what has been said – “so, are you saying that…” – and ask clarifying questions – “What do you mean by…” Remember, listening is not about passing judgment or having an opinion on what is being said, very often just having someone to listen is enough for people to find their own clarity from within.


Start using these simple counselling skills in your workplace to become a better communicator, improve your workplace productivity, and develop better relationships.

First Psychology Assistance provides in-house training that can help enhance the skills of the people in your workplace. Find out more about First Psychology Assistance and the services we offer >

Postive Psychology that works in the workplace

According to the British Psychological Society, psychology remains one of the most popular subjects to study. There’s no denying that the study of psychology is immensely rewarding and we would – obviously – advocate psychology as a career option for those interested in the study of the human psyche and what makes us all tick.

However, don’t despair if a career in psychology is out of reach for you. The chances are you are using psychology in your job today – though you’re not consciously aware of it. If you’re not, we’ve developed some pointers to help you incorporate positive psychology into your workplace to build better relationships, increase motivation and drive performance.

Look at your leadership style

No-one sets out to be a poor leader and often it’s a role that’s thrust upon people when they’re deemed to be ready, rather than something people train for. There are many different leadership styles, but the most successful leaders share the same qualities in the way they interact with their colleagues.

Try to practise some of the following and assess the impact it has on your own performance and that of your team:

• Offer clear guidance, but allow group members to voice opinions 
• Talk about possible solutions to problems with members of the group 
• Focus on stimulating ideas and be willing to reward creativity 

Although some time ago now, a study of Fortune 1000 companies by Collins in 2001 found two further factors that lifted leaders from ‘good to great’:

• Modesty: the most effective leaders were incredibly modest and humble.
• Persistence: the leaders who transformed their organisations never stopped pushing towards their goals.

Promote a happy workplace

The driving force behind workplace positive psychology is the notion that happier employees are more productive. So, how do you make your employees happy? Our previous post focussed on stress-busting in the workplace and the same techniques used to ease stress can also help to create a calm and happy atmosphere at work. We’re not talking about big changes here, sometimes a series of small initiatives aimed at helping colleagues feel more satisfied and happier in their work can often pay dividends. So instead of a staff-retreat and jolly, think more along the lines of an open door policy, increasing the frequency of 1-2-1s and introducing a staff suggestion scheme.

Be thankful

Employees are motivated by many different things, but we all appreciate being appreciated.  In much the same way that we are taught to practise positive reinforcement at home with the kids, the same could also be said of how we treat our employees. So focus on the positives in your workplace, and encourage others to do the same. We’re not talking about grand gestures of thanks, a subtle word of gratitude on the quiet will have much the same effect. Why not set yourself a target of emailing one colleague today outlining an aspect of their work that you’re grateful for?

Don’t manage, mentor

Establishing mentoring relationships within your team is one of the best ways to foster worker / employer camaraderie. The manager / employee relationship is one of superiority, the role of mentor is more about enablement, encouragement and nurturing. The mentor / employee relationship is one where honest feedback is welcomed, and a place where employees can get the psychological and social support they need to excel in their role.